This space has been neglected. Pushed to the side, ignored, and somewhat forgotten.
The thing is, I’ve wanted to write. I have wanted to sit down and let my fingers fly across the keyboard, furiously typing out the thoughts in my head. I have wanted to continue this memoir for my children, preserving their childhood memories as snippets frozen in time.
But there’s also a part of me that doesn’t quite know what to say or where to start. So much of my life, and myself, has changed in the last few months. Some for better, others possibly for worse, and still all forever.
But as I’m thinking of that next entry in my head, my children are around me, growing, changing, laughing, learning, bonding, and living.
I know that as I blink they will rapidly transform into teens graduating from high school and entering college, then adults moving out on their own to live their own lives.
But today? Today they wanted to curl up in bed with me and snuggle a little closer.
Today they wanted to hold my hand as we watched an early morning cartoon.
Today they wanted to sing silly songs at the top of our lungs as we drove around town running errands.
Today they trusted me with their questions and believed in every answer I had for them.
Today there were giggles as we splashed in the pool, laughter as we jumped across our chalk-drawn hopscotch game, and proud smiles as we cheered each other on.
Today there was love and hugs and big wet kisses on our cheeks.
There’s much to be said about the person I’m becoming. A woman who has never, until just recently, savored those simple moments.
I was always looking ahead, pushing on towards the next phase, focused on the upcoming journey.
I was distracted, trying to multitask too many things at once.
But now, I want to savor today.
I don’t want to waste time thinking about tomorrow or recalling events from yesterday.
I don’t want to be half-answering my children when they beg for my attention as I’m focused on working and emails and technology.
I want to be here. Today. In this moment.
This space may become a big neglected. But that’s okay.
It may even morph into something different, maybe even a photo dump as I work on building my photography career. And that’s okay too.
Because I will be focused on living today.
.
.
